Furious With the Head Start Staff! A Heated Discussion About Why My Son Won't Be Attending Public School

As you may have seen in previous posts, I had decided to let my son attend head start so that he could develop some social skills and get early social interaction as most kids really need. He's an only child and he's not around that many people really. He liked it, then he didn't like it, and now he doesn't want to go. I had already made up my mind to Homeshcool him even before I was pregnant. I always knew I would homeschool my child because of the effect that school has had personally on myself, and both of my brothers. The feeling was even 10 times stronger once I realized that my son and I were moving back to my hometown. I know what these schools are like, and from the state of the people in this town.... nothing has changed! Soon after I moved back here I saw my second grade teacher. Yes, she actually remembered me and we had a long discussion about these schools. She informed me that a few years after I was gone she dropped all of her kids from school, quit her job, and homeschooled her children. The teachers notice, the parents notice, so why are the people doing something about it the "Odd balls"?

I have tried for nearly 3 weeks to get my son to go back to school. And by try I mean all I've done is ask him. A few times I got him up, fed him breakfast, and got him dressed for school but he refused to leave the house or get in the car. He refused with his words, his actions, and even his screams. That was it for me. I'm not going to make him go if he doesn't want to go. I went to the Head Start this morning to sign the Drop papers and when I got there his teacher and the Secretary started drilling me on why he needs to be there and why am I not letting him go? They ganged up on me, preached to me, yelled at me..... I was furious!

His Teacher said, "What are you going to do when he's older and he wants to go out. He can't stay home forever. He's not going to have any of the social skills he needs to function in this word with other people". My response? I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I went to these schools. I grew up here and attended these schools until I was almost 18 years old. I have no social skills other than what I've learned myself through working with other people. I know what these schools are like. I know how these people are. We are strange people who aren't like all of these other people and the amount of ridicule and bigotry my child will endure will be way past an excessive level by the time he reaches 4th grade. Maybe even sooner. Aside from the people who attend and work at these schools, I have plenty of other problems with the Public School System!" I went on to explain what those problems were, getting cut off in the process and basically being called an idiot without the actual word being used. I then explained to them that I have always known I would homeschool my children, and when he's done with head start he won't be attending any other Public Schools. Then what? I tried to make them understand that this isn't a practice run to see if I'll let him go to school. This is far from that. It was simply so that my son could be around and interact with other children. If he doesn't want to do that, then I'm going to listen to him and do whatever it is that will make him flourish.... NOT send him off to school so that he can be a "perfect little robot" as my mother would put it.

What I've seen at this head start is that "head start" is not at all what it once was. I don't know about other towns or areas, but from what I can tell this place is nothing more than to prepare them to shut up and listen during "real school". The things my son has come home repeating... well there have been some doozies. The one that made me the most uncomfortable would be "Get in Line! I'm gonna put you in that Line!" It's not even the worst quote I've heard him repeat from school, but for some reason it made me so uncomfortable like my skin was just crawling around on my flesh. This is all that matters to them. What matters to me is my son's ability to have critical thought and to be a free thinker! He doesn't need to go to school just to learn to follow all the rules and become a mindless little worker bee. No! I want him to explore the world, discover what HE is interested in and capable of... Not what someone else thinks he should be interested in or capable of. He's an amazing boy, and I want him to know that! Not that he is just like everyone else, because he's not.

Still, they would not just accept my decision and kept hounding me, so I had no other choice but to pull out the religious card. I told them straight up that we were "different", and that I had plenty good reason to feel the way that I do about it. You have to understand where I'm coming from. This town is a very small place in the center of Louisiana. This is "God Country" as far as anyone here is concerned. Why, since I moved back here, as an adult, I have dealt with so much discrimination and cruelty.... more than I have in the past 8 years. We've only been here just over a year. I'm not getting this from kids in school. I'm getting this from the adults, at my job, in my face, all the time! What do you think they are teaching their kids? And kids are especially mean when they want to be. It's at the point here where even if someone feels in their heart that they were an athiest..... They would NEVER tell their own family. That's how you get abandoned, shunned, cast out.

I grew up here, so everyone I went to school with knows I'm "weird". I had no problem coming here being exactly who I am openly without regrets. I still have no regrets about that. I am who I am and anyone who might not like it can step aside and get out of my way. I really don't care. There aren't that many people here that I care about outside of family. Even some of my family have nothing to do with me because I'm "different". That's their problem and only goes to show just how bigoted and hateful these mindless sheep can be. The fact of the matter is that I'm not going to be something I'm not to please others, and I wouldn't want my son to think it's ok to do so. I will not let the idiocy of others stifle his or my spirit. We are perfect just the way we are. Another fact of the matter is that we aren't going to live here forever. I know that I don't belong here. I never did, and I'm willing to wager that my son doesn't belong here either. I can't make that decision for him, though it will take him time and maturity to figure out where it is he belongs so in the mean time... I say we don't belong here.

I agreed to let him go back to head start next August simply to get them to leave me alone so I could walk out of the room but I doubt it will happen. If by some chance my son says he wants to go then I'll let him, but I mean what I say when I say that at the end of his head start experience there will be no more public school for him.

Needless to say, I have plenty of things to express about my experience with these people at this head start. I refrained from saying anything too ugly as I've mentioned how small of a town this is. Anything too drastic could send out a wave of gossip and even cause me to lose my job (which has nothing to do with anything, but that's how things work around here). Many staff members and parents come into my store all the time so I'm sure I haven't heard the last of this. I'll be asked for the next 3 or more months, I can almost bet! Regardless, my decision has been made. He is my son and it's no one's business how I chose to raise him. It is especially not the business of a "teacher" I've caught sleeping at his desk while the aid attends to his class. No joke. I saw this with my own eyes. So no, he has no sway over my choices or my reasons for making them.

Thanks for reading my rant. Have a great day!

Introduction

Hi there. My name is Kelly. I am a single mom with a 3 year old boy who's about to turn 4 in January. We've gone through some hardships, and left his father about a year ago (August 19th 2014). But we've come a long way in the past year. For instance, I am now Assistant Manager at my job (yay me!) and my son can count to 100, knows all of his colors, shapes, body parts, and animals, and just started Head Start 4 days ago. Obviously he knew that stuff before he got there. After his first day I spoke with his teacher. He said, "Well, he's super smart! How does he know all of this already?" My response of course is that "I am homeschooling him so he doesn't really need the education that you are providing. What he needs is social interaction, and a chance to learn better ways of behaving through observation as children do for the most part."

See, he is rarely ever around other kids and there is only so much my mom and I can do as we try to teach him the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviors in different social settings. He's had a lot of freedom in his 3 and a half years. I didn't feel the need to have a set schedule for him as far as bath time, bed time, nap time, learning time, or even meal time. I hear many times that he needs to have a schedule because it helps later on to understand that there is a time and place for everything, but the rebel in me said "Let him be who he wants to be! If he's not hungry I'm not going to make him eat. If he's not sleepy I'm not going to make him sleep."

At this point, I regret my decision. I'm glad that he has had so much freedom in many ways, because he may have not had enough concentration to learn the things that he did so quickly. He was free to explore and free to do things on HIS schedule and not mine. He started walking early, and barely crawled before that. He did a lot of things early, regardless of what contributed to that fact. But right at this moment in his life, I have found that it is important that he learn things that others thought he should have learned sooner. He is socially awkward. Mostly because we didn't have any family where he was born, and was never around anyone other than a first time mom who had no idea what she was doing (me) and a father who didn't care. I mean I did, and am doing my best but I can only do so much without prior experience on how to raise a child. I did a lot of reading and researching, tried many things, some successfully and some failed. But the most important thing to me is my son's development and ability to function in this world as an intelligent person.

Goodness I rant! My point is that he really needs to be around other kids and see how they are interacting with each other and the world around him. He is in his own little world because I had allowed him to be so most of the time, but now I'm having trouble getting him out of it so he can learn how to be productive in this world. I may sound like a complete loon, but I'm learning on this journey as I go. Sometimes I will make mistakes just like everyone else, and sometimes I can correct them or learn a better way. In any event, he is attending Head Start 2 days of the week. I'm hoping that it helps his social skills.

So, A little about me? I am an Ordained Pagan Minister, have been studying paganism for about  20 years, and have been practicing Witchcraft in various forms for nearly 19 years (as of September 2015). I love to sing, paint, write, and read. I am also interested in Photography and have my own amateur photography that I'm quite proud of. I enjoy researching interesting subject, reading spiritual texts from various sources, and creating digitally enhanced images like the Header Image at the top of this blog. I love cats. Mine is a black cat named Fairuza (with permission from F.B.). And I tend to ramble if you haven't noticed.

A bit about my son? His Name is Kadanz Lisife which was chosen before his conceptions. It means "Song of the Lightbringer". We call him Kade for short. He was conceived durring a Beltane rite in 2011 and came to us later in January of 2012. I say (with affection) that we conjured him straight from the pits of the underworld because he can be a little beast when he wants to. We held his Paganing on the following Beltane 2012 and presented him to our Gods and friends at that time. He's a funny little guy. He's obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and he's spoiled with way too many trains including a Thomas roller coaster in our living room. It's pretty awesome. His favorite song right now is called "Primo Victoria" which is a cover by Van Canto (original by Sabaton). It's about Normandy June 6th, 1944. He knows every word, and I think it's great because he learns a lot through music. Now he's learning history. lol

So that's me and my boy. I hope that I'll be able to share some useful information for you in upcoming posts about pagan parenting and pagan homeshcooling. I am learning as I go, so why can't you?

Have a wonderful week!