Furious With the Head Start Staff! A Heated Discussion About Why My Son Won't Be Attending Public School

As you may have seen in previous posts, I had decided to let my son attend head start so that he could develop some social skills and get early social interaction as most kids really need. He's an only child and he's not around that many people really. He liked it, then he didn't like it, and now he doesn't want to go. I had already made up my mind to Homeshcool him even before I was pregnant. I always knew I would homeschool my child because of the effect that school has had personally on myself, and both of my brothers. The feeling was even 10 times stronger once I realized that my son and I were moving back to my hometown. I know what these schools are like, and from the state of the people in this town.... nothing has changed! Soon after I moved back here I saw my second grade teacher. Yes, she actually remembered me and we had a long discussion about these schools. She informed me that a few years after I was gone she dropped all of her kids from school, quit her job, and homeschooled her children. The teachers notice, the parents notice, so why are the people doing something about it the "Odd balls"?

I have tried for nearly 3 weeks to get my son to go back to school. And by try I mean all I've done is ask him. A few times I got him up, fed him breakfast, and got him dressed for school but he refused to leave the house or get in the car. He refused with his words, his actions, and even his screams. That was it for me. I'm not going to make him go if he doesn't want to go. I went to the Head Start this morning to sign the Drop papers and when I got there his teacher and the Secretary started drilling me on why he needs to be there and why am I not letting him go? They ganged up on me, preached to me, yelled at me..... I was furious!

His Teacher said, "What are you going to do when he's older and he wants to go out. He can't stay home forever. He's not going to have any of the social skills he needs to function in this word with other people". My response? I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I went to these schools. I grew up here and attended these schools until I was almost 18 years old. I have no social skills other than what I've learned myself through working with other people. I know what these schools are like. I know how these people are. We are strange people who aren't like all of these other people and the amount of ridicule and bigotry my child will endure will be way past an excessive level by the time he reaches 4th grade. Maybe even sooner. Aside from the people who attend and work at these schools, I have plenty of other problems with the Public School System!" I went on to explain what those problems were, getting cut off in the process and basically being called an idiot without the actual word being used. I then explained to them that I have always known I would homeschool my children, and when he's done with head start he won't be attending any other Public Schools. Then what? I tried to make them understand that this isn't a practice run to see if I'll let him go to school. This is far from that. It was simply so that my son could be around and interact with other children. If he doesn't want to do that, then I'm going to listen to him and do whatever it is that will make him flourish.... NOT send him off to school so that he can be a "perfect little robot" as my mother would put it.

What I've seen at this head start is that "head start" is not at all what it once was. I don't know about other towns or areas, but from what I can tell this place is nothing more than to prepare them to shut up and listen during "real school". The things my son has come home repeating... well there have been some doozies. The one that made me the most uncomfortable would be "Get in Line! I'm gonna put you in that Line!" It's not even the worst quote I've heard him repeat from school, but for some reason it made me so uncomfortable like my skin was just crawling around on my flesh. This is all that matters to them. What matters to me is my son's ability to have critical thought and to be a free thinker! He doesn't need to go to school just to learn to follow all the rules and become a mindless little worker bee. No! I want him to explore the world, discover what HE is interested in and capable of... Not what someone else thinks he should be interested in or capable of. He's an amazing boy, and I want him to know that! Not that he is just like everyone else, because he's not.

Still, they would not just accept my decision and kept hounding me, so I had no other choice but to pull out the religious card. I told them straight up that we were "different", and that I had plenty good reason to feel the way that I do about it. You have to understand where I'm coming from. This town is a very small place in the center of Louisiana. This is "God Country" as far as anyone here is concerned. Why, since I moved back here, as an adult, I have dealt with so much discrimination and cruelty.... more than I have in the past 8 years. We've only been here just over a year. I'm not getting this from kids in school. I'm getting this from the adults, at my job, in my face, all the time! What do you think they are teaching their kids? And kids are especially mean when they want to be. It's at the point here where even if someone feels in their heart that they were an athiest..... They would NEVER tell their own family. That's how you get abandoned, shunned, cast out.

I grew up here, so everyone I went to school with knows I'm "weird". I had no problem coming here being exactly who I am openly without regrets. I still have no regrets about that. I am who I am and anyone who might not like it can step aside and get out of my way. I really don't care. There aren't that many people here that I care about outside of family. Even some of my family have nothing to do with me because I'm "different". That's their problem and only goes to show just how bigoted and hateful these mindless sheep can be. The fact of the matter is that I'm not going to be something I'm not to please others, and I wouldn't want my son to think it's ok to do so. I will not let the idiocy of others stifle his or my spirit. We are perfect just the way we are. Another fact of the matter is that we aren't going to live here forever. I know that I don't belong here. I never did, and I'm willing to wager that my son doesn't belong here either. I can't make that decision for him, though it will take him time and maturity to figure out where it is he belongs so in the mean time... I say we don't belong here.

I agreed to let him go back to head start next August simply to get them to leave me alone so I could walk out of the room but I doubt it will happen. If by some chance my son says he wants to go then I'll let him, but I mean what I say when I say that at the end of his head start experience there will be no more public school for him.

Needless to say, I have plenty of things to express about my experience with these people at this head start. I refrained from saying anything too ugly as I've mentioned how small of a town this is. Anything too drastic could send out a wave of gossip and even cause me to lose my job (which has nothing to do with anything, but that's how things work around here). Many staff members and parents come into my store all the time so I'm sure I haven't heard the last of this. I'll be asked for the next 3 or more months, I can almost bet! Regardless, my decision has been made. He is my son and it's no one's business how I chose to raise him. It is especially not the business of a "teacher" I've caught sleeping at his desk while the aid attends to his class. No joke. I saw this with my own eyes. So no, he has no sway over my choices or my reasons for making them.

Thanks for reading my rant. Have a great day!

No More School for My Son!

Today, I've realized that my son probably won't be returning to head start. I've asked him every school day for the past (nearly) 2 weeks and he keeps telling me no. He says that he doesn't like it and that he doesn't want to go. Of course, I was only letting him go so that he could be around other kids and get that social interaction that I know he needs right now. But I planned to homeschool him even before I was pregnant with him, so if he doesn't want to go back to school I'm certainly not going to make him.

The last time he went to school, they had a field trip to a different head start that was having a "Fall Festival". After I picked him up that day from his head start he wouldn't talk to me about what happened that day. He wanted the bag of candy they loaded him up with, and screamed in anger when I said , "you have to eat some dinner before you have candy". But every time I asked him about his day he just wouldn't answer me or tell me anything. He hasn't wanted to go back to school at all since then. Sometimes he laughs and says no, and sometimes he screams and says no. Other times, he just calmly tells me that he doesn't like it.

This is the hard thing about sending him off to spend time with tons of strangers. If something happened to him, he's not telling me. There's no way to know how he has been treated while I wasn't there, or if someone hurt him. But I try to stay positive and feel like if someone did hurt him he would tell me. I really hope so anyway. Either way, if he doesn't want to go, then he just isn't going. End of story!

I hope everyone is having a magickal Full Moon.

From the Mouths of Babes

I know that sending my son to Head start for 2 days a week is the right thing for his social development at the moment, but wow he has come home saying some interesting things! One of the best things about my son is that he remembers everything and repeats everything right now. So at the very least, I WILL know if someone is being mean to him. He's telling me everything that is being said to him. I have to say, if anyone gets any meaner than I've heard so far, I won't let him go back. I understand that one has to be stern when dealing with many children at once (or even just one at times), but being stern doesn't mean you have to be mean.

He comes home acting out what he's been to with the cat. For example: "Get in the line cat! I'm gonna put you in the line!" These quotes are not stern, and not 'as a matter of fact'. These quotes are harsh and mean. Not the words, but the way he says them. I know, it's a silly thing to worry over but I have to consider how he is being taught to speak to others. Also, and quite comically, the wonderful quotes of, "That's mine!". He's never had to say this though I know he's felt it many times before when his cousins come to visit. He's a bit spoiled and I think that he's learning this from the other kids because he thinks everything belongs to him. This is a good thing for him to learn as I hope it will morph into respect for other's things as well as his own. He's also come home telling my mother and I, "Don't say that!" I'm not sure what he said to grant that response, but we are having a hard time making him understand that he can't tell us not to "say that" when we tell him to pick up his toys, eat his food properly, or whatever. It's becoming quite an experience to see what he's learning from others and I truly hope that he eventually begins to understand these things a little better.

The reason I wanted him to go to head start was for more social interaction and because he is lacking in that area. He learns through observation and there is only so much my mother and I can teach him about how children should interact with each other. We do our best to be "in HIS world", but sometimes it doesn't work. I just have to remind myself that I can't protect him from everything, and that I must take the good with the bad and do what I can to help him become a productive and respectful adult while still helping him to celebrate his own individuality. He's only 3 and sometimes I feel like maybe I expect too much or put too much on him. I don't want to do that. I just want him to be happy.... and he usually is.

Blessings, and Thanks for Reading!