Furious With the Head Start Staff! A Heated Discussion About Why My Son Won't Be Attending Public School

As you may have seen in previous posts, I had decided to let my son attend head start so that he could develop some social skills and get early social interaction as most kids really need. He's an only child and he's not around that many people really. He liked it, then he didn't like it, and now he doesn't want to go. I had already made up my mind to Homeshcool him even before I was pregnant. I always knew I would homeschool my child because of the effect that school has had personally on myself, and both of my brothers. The feeling was even 10 times stronger once I realized that my son and I were moving back to my hometown. I know what these schools are like, and from the state of the people in this town.... nothing has changed! Soon after I moved back here I saw my second grade teacher. Yes, she actually remembered me and we had a long discussion about these schools. She informed me that a few years after I was gone she dropped all of her kids from school, quit her job, and homeschooled her children. The teachers notice, the parents notice, so why are the people doing something about it the "Odd balls"?

I have tried for nearly 3 weeks to get my son to go back to school. And by try I mean all I've done is ask him. A few times I got him up, fed him breakfast, and got him dressed for school but he refused to leave the house or get in the car. He refused with his words, his actions, and even his screams. That was it for me. I'm not going to make him go if he doesn't want to go. I went to the Head Start this morning to sign the Drop papers and when I got there his teacher and the Secretary started drilling me on why he needs to be there and why am I not letting him go? They ganged up on me, preached to me, yelled at me..... I was furious!

His Teacher said, "What are you going to do when he's older and he wants to go out. He can't stay home forever. He's not going to have any of the social skills he needs to function in this word with other people". My response? I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I went to these schools. I grew up here and attended these schools until I was almost 18 years old. I have no social skills other than what I've learned myself through working with other people. I know what these schools are like. I know how these people are. We are strange people who aren't like all of these other people and the amount of ridicule and bigotry my child will endure will be way past an excessive level by the time he reaches 4th grade. Maybe even sooner. Aside from the people who attend and work at these schools, I have plenty of other problems with the Public School System!" I went on to explain what those problems were, getting cut off in the process and basically being called an idiot without the actual word being used. I then explained to them that I have always known I would homeschool my children, and when he's done with head start he won't be attending any other Public Schools. Then what? I tried to make them understand that this isn't a practice run to see if I'll let him go to school. This is far from that. It was simply so that my son could be around and interact with other children. If he doesn't want to do that, then I'm going to listen to him and do whatever it is that will make him flourish.... NOT send him off to school so that he can be a "perfect little robot" as my mother would put it.

What I've seen at this head start is that "head start" is not at all what it once was. I don't know about other towns or areas, but from what I can tell this place is nothing more than to prepare them to shut up and listen during "real school". The things my son has come home repeating... well there have been some doozies. The one that made me the most uncomfortable would be "Get in Line! I'm gonna put you in that Line!" It's not even the worst quote I've heard him repeat from school, but for some reason it made me so uncomfortable like my skin was just crawling around on my flesh. This is all that matters to them. What matters to me is my son's ability to have critical thought and to be a free thinker! He doesn't need to go to school just to learn to follow all the rules and become a mindless little worker bee. No! I want him to explore the world, discover what HE is interested in and capable of... Not what someone else thinks he should be interested in or capable of. He's an amazing boy, and I want him to know that! Not that he is just like everyone else, because he's not.

Still, they would not just accept my decision and kept hounding me, so I had no other choice but to pull out the religious card. I told them straight up that we were "different", and that I had plenty good reason to feel the way that I do about it. You have to understand where I'm coming from. This town is a very small place in the center of Louisiana. This is "God Country" as far as anyone here is concerned. Why, since I moved back here, as an adult, I have dealt with so much discrimination and cruelty.... more than I have in the past 8 years. We've only been here just over a year. I'm not getting this from kids in school. I'm getting this from the adults, at my job, in my face, all the time! What do you think they are teaching their kids? And kids are especially mean when they want to be. It's at the point here where even if someone feels in their heart that they were an athiest..... They would NEVER tell their own family. That's how you get abandoned, shunned, cast out.

I grew up here, so everyone I went to school with knows I'm "weird". I had no problem coming here being exactly who I am openly without regrets. I still have no regrets about that. I am who I am and anyone who might not like it can step aside and get out of my way. I really don't care. There aren't that many people here that I care about outside of family. Even some of my family have nothing to do with me because I'm "different". That's their problem and only goes to show just how bigoted and hateful these mindless sheep can be. The fact of the matter is that I'm not going to be something I'm not to please others, and I wouldn't want my son to think it's ok to do so. I will not let the idiocy of others stifle his or my spirit. We are perfect just the way we are. Another fact of the matter is that we aren't going to live here forever. I know that I don't belong here. I never did, and I'm willing to wager that my son doesn't belong here either. I can't make that decision for him, though it will take him time and maturity to figure out where it is he belongs so in the mean time... I say we don't belong here.

I agreed to let him go back to head start next August simply to get them to leave me alone so I could walk out of the room but I doubt it will happen. If by some chance my son says he wants to go then I'll let him, but I mean what I say when I say that at the end of his head start experience there will be no more public school for him.

Needless to say, I have plenty of things to express about my experience with these people at this head start. I refrained from saying anything too ugly as I've mentioned how small of a town this is. Anything too drastic could send out a wave of gossip and even cause me to lose my job (which has nothing to do with anything, but that's how things work around here). Many staff members and parents come into my store all the time so I'm sure I haven't heard the last of this. I'll be asked for the next 3 or more months, I can almost bet! Regardless, my decision has been made. He is my son and it's no one's business how I chose to raise him. It is especially not the business of a "teacher" I've caught sleeping at his desk while the aid attends to his class. No joke. I saw this with my own eyes. So no, he has no sway over my choices or my reasons for making them.

Thanks for reading my rant. Have a great day!

Is Unschooling For Your Child? What Is Unschooling?

I find myself falling under this type of Homeschooling more and more. I think it's very important for my son to learn about the things that HE is interested in. I still have that urge to structure a curriculum based on what I think he should know at any given point, but I haven't done that yet since he is only 3 and have seen in the time he's been alive that he learns so much better when presented with something and allowed to explore it rather than trying to teach him

what I want him to know about it.

One reason why my 3 year old can count to 100, say abcs backward and forward, knows all basic colors and shapes, and knows all the planets (I'll explain Pluto later) and can even tell you who named Jupiter..... Is because he loves music. He loves to sing and dance, and knowing that he loves music, all I had to do was find songs that he enjoyed. The rest is history. Of course he doesn't like all the songs I find, so we just stick to the ones that he does like.

He learns all of these things because when he finds a song that he likes he wants to hear it a million times until he knows every word. When he became interested in the planets, my mom crocheted all the planets and stuffed them. He places them in order by himself and sings songs about them. I gave him planet flash cards to play with and he does the same with them. He even knows how to spell Sun now (among many other words he's learned to spell). What I'm saying is that if your child is interested in something I think it's great to provide them with whatever you can and let them explore it on their own as opposed to "teaching" them what you think they should know. It's important to find things that will expand his knowledge on the subject that he can discover for himself.

I've been doing this with my boy, and I just sit back and watch him light up and flourish.

That's not to say that I don't throw a few facts and things at him here and there to get that little wheel turning. It's just in my nature, but I'm not going to force information on him that he cares nothing about until there comes a time when he just SERIOUSLY needs to know something.

Here is a great explanation of Unschooling and I wanted to share it with everyone.

Thanks for reading! Have a Wonderful Day!

Having Trouble Potty Training? This Helped My Son So Much!

I spoke about this book in a previous post and wanted to share it with everyone. The book is well tattered at this point because we've had it for a while. We had a hard time getting my son to use the potty. A few months after he turned 3 I saw a video of one of my favorite people in the world reading this book to his kids. It was adorable, and also I wanted to find out who wrote the book so that I might find it for my son. Listening to Misha Collins read this book, my initial thought was, "This is a bit graphic for a 3 year old." lol. But after thinking about it for a while, I realized that it would be really good for him to learn these things about his own body and sensations, and that it would help him understand why he needs to go to the potty. I came to the conclusion that the Author of this book is a genius!

We received the book a day or tow before I went into the hospital where I spent the next 5 days. I had only gotten to read it to him a few dozen times before I left.... He liked it and when he likes a book he wants you to read it over and over, and over. While I was gone, my mom read the book to him. I'm sure she got to read that thing a million or more times because he seemed to really enjoy it. She said that one day he looked at her and said, "Go Potty like Joshua? I want to use the Potty like Joshua." or something to that effect. So this book really helped my son understand that he must use the potty.

After searching the title and author, I found this book on Amazon (becuase you know I like Amazon) for less than $3. There were several versions of the book. Ones for girls, ones for boys, ones with sound buttons, and ones without. The original I think is a longer version than this one, but this one was fun for him and had all the important stuff in it.

So if you are having trouble potty training, this may be the thing for you! It's always worth a try!

Here, for your entertainment, is Misha Collins reading the book to his two adorable kids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9kNGeS804M

Grandmothers Are Gold

Did I mention how grateful I am for my mom? She has been so good to my son and I since we moved back home. When I started my job here, I had never been away from my son since his birth and it was hard for me. I'm not sure if it was as hard for my son as it was for me, because he had his Grandmother every step of the way. She got up in the mornings to be there for him when I had to work early, and she has been there for him every single day..... Playing and laughing with him, teaching him things, helping him with things. She kept him while I was in the hospital for 5 days, and then basically bed ridden for the following week. During that time, she potty trained him with the help of a book that I had bought him prior to my stay in the hospital. (I think I'll make a post about that book.)

What I'm saying is that she has been so good to my son, and I don't know what I would do without her. When I see them together I can see the love in both of their eyes, in their smiles. My little boy loves his Grandmother so very much! And I'm so grateful that she is here with us.

I love you Mama!

A Wonderful Samhain

We had so much fun on Samhain day. It was the first Samhain that my son and I were able to do much, and he had a blast! He's still talking about it, so I know I did a good job! My mom and I stayed up the night before cutting out a paper tree to put on the was so he could tape fall leaves to it. He was so excited to do that, and he played with that for a few hours at least. We bakes some cookies....

We did lots of fun crafts like a qtip skeleton........

And making a pumpkin face on an orange paper plate with

black cut out paper shapes.......

And since my son is too young for a knife, we decided to draw pumpkin faces.......

But one of the best things we did on Samhain day was take a trip to the Cemetery,

Where my son gave his first offering and prayer.........

It was pretty special. It was such a great day. We were all so tired that evening that

our dance party didn't last very long. I don't think that my son could have

had any more fun! I hope your Samhain was just as special.

I'd love to hear about it!

Thanks for reading!

Our New Talking Stick

I found this random piece of a wooden post and decided that it would make a good talking stick. I feel that a talking stick will do some good for my son because he's having trouble understanding the dynamics of a conversation. Or, should I say that I think he understands mostly but refuses to engage in a proper conversation. Yeah, that's more like it *chuckles*. At this point in time, he is repeating everything that we say and refusing to answer questions. He has recently started answering our questions such as "Are you hungry". Before a few months ago he would never answer such questions with a yes. He would say no, but if the answer was yes he would just repeat the question. We finally got him to answer these questions with a yes or no, but in the last 2 weeks he has started repeating again, and if it's a question he's not use to hearing he refuses to say anything at all in any form of an answer or even a repeat. I don't completely believe that he doesn't understand. I just feel like he's being silly or pretending something. I had thought that being around other children in head start would help improve is interactions with others and us, but it seems to have made things worse as far as the things that he says to us and how he treats us (however unwarranted).

My Idea was that maybe a talking stick would help him to grasp the concept that we should interact and treat each other with more respect when talking to one another, and that we must give one another their turn for speaking. I used sharpy permanent markers for the talking stick, and when considering whether or not to use paint I remembered that he's 3 years old and that the paint probably wouldn't last. So I chose permanent marker. Of course, nearly every object is a magickal one to me so I used runes and theban script to express what I thought the stick should represent. The largest rune on the front (second image from the left) is a bindrune used for finding answers and truth. The theban script around that bindrune says "Telling the Truth is Imporant". At the top there are 6 different colored lines and each of the have a repeat of the rune Ansuz which I have used to encourage communication. There is also a larger Ansuz on the revers side of the bindrune. I tried to make it as colorful as possible, and since my son has a hard time expressing himself I decided to put some little faces that he can point to in the case that he doesn't know how to tell me how he feels. They say, "Happy, Sad, Angry, Confused". I'm really hoping that this will help him to express how he feels in a comfortable way to me.

I'm waiting for the right opportunity to try this stick out with him and see how he reacts, but it should be soon because I have started my vacation yesterday and am off work for the next week. This makes me very happy since Samhain is coming up very soon. I'm sure I'll be making a post of our happenings! Until then, Blessed Samhain everyone!

No More School for My Son!

Today, I've realized that my son probably won't be returning to head start. I've asked him every school day for the past (nearly) 2 weeks and he keeps telling me no. He says that he doesn't like it and that he doesn't want to go. Of course, I was only letting him go so that he could be around other kids and get that social interaction that I know he needs right now. But I planned to homeschool him even before I was pregnant with him, so if he doesn't want to go back to school I'm certainly not going to make him.

The last time he went to school, they had a field trip to a different head start that was having a "Fall Festival". After I picked him up that day from his head start he wouldn't talk to me about what happened that day. He wanted the bag of candy they loaded him up with, and screamed in anger when I said , "you have to eat some dinner before you have candy". But every time I asked him about his day he just wouldn't answer me or tell me anything. He hasn't wanted to go back to school at all since then. Sometimes he laughs and says no, and sometimes he screams and says no. Other times, he just calmly tells me that he doesn't like it.

This is the hard thing about sending him off to spend time with tons of strangers. If something happened to him, he's not telling me. There's no way to know how he has been treated while I wasn't there, or if someone hurt him. But I try to stay positive and feel like if someone did hurt him he would tell me. I really hope so anyway. Either way, if he doesn't want to go, then he just isn't going. End of story!

I hope everyone is having a magickal Full Moon.

From the Mouths of Babes

I know that sending my son to Head start for 2 days a week is the right thing for his social development at the moment, but wow he has come home saying some interesting things! One of the best things about my son is that he remembers everything and repeats everything right now. So at the very least, I WILL know if someone is being mean to him. He's telling me everything that is being said to him. I have to say, if anyone gets any meaner than I've heard so far, I won't let him go back. I understand that one has to be stern when dealing with many children at once (or even just one at times), but being stern doesn't mean you have to be mean.

He comes home acting out what he's been to with the cat. For example: "Get in the line cat! I'm gonna put you in the line!" These quotes are not stern, and not 'as a matter of fact'. These quotes are harsh and mean. Not the words, but the way he says them. I know, it's a silly thing to worry over but I have to consider how he is being taught to speak to others. Also, and quite comically, the wonderful quotes of, "That's mine!". He's never had to say this though I know he's felt it many times before when his cousins come to visit. He's a bit spoiled and I think that he's learning this from the other kids because he thinks everything belongs to him. This is a good thing for him to learn as I hope it will morph into respect for other's things as well as his own. He's also come home telling my mother and I, "Don't say that!" I'm not sure what he said to grant that response, but we are having a hard time making him understand that he can't tell us not to "say that" when we tell him to pick up his toys, eat his food properly, or whatever. It's becoming quite an experience to see what he's learning from others and I truly hope that he eventually begins to understand these things a little better.

The reason I wanted him to go to head start was for more social interaction and because he is lacking in that area. He learns through observation and there is only so much my mother and I can teach him about how children should interact with each other. We do our best to be "in HIS world", but sometimes it doesn't work. I just have to remind myself that I can't protect him from everything, and that I must take the good with the bad and do what I can to help him become a productive and respectful adult while still helping him to celebrate his own individuality. He's only 3 and sometimes I feel like maybe I expect too much or put too much on him. I don't want to do that. I just want him to be happy.... and he usually is.

Blessings, and Thanks for Reading!

Fun Educational Coloring Books

You will notice that I do a lot of shopping on Amazon. These bad boys just got delivered today and I was so happy to see how great the images inside were! These are a great way to make education fun for kids. My son won't be using them right away because he's only 3, but I'll have them put away for a time when he will benefit from them the most. The "Wonders of the World" coloring book was $0.01 plus shipping. Yes that's right. One friggin penny. There are tons of Dover coloring books on Amazon for a penny. Granted the shipping is normally $3.99, but its still a good deal versus buying the things for $4-$5 plus shipping too from other sites.

The "Human Body Book" was not a penny, but still got it at a great price of $2.91 with free shipping on my order of over $35. I've perfected the 'get lots of great stuff cheap' method of using Amazon, and I'm here to tell you that people who knock Amazon are doing something wrong! If you have at least $60 just to spend on you or your child, you can buy one pricey object (or a couple) That add up to $35 you can find lots of very cheap items such as books that have the "Prime" icon next to them. The only way to get free shipping is if it ships directly from Amazon and not other companies who are selling through Amazon, and the "Prime" icon appears next to any of the Amazon direct products. Following this logic, you can get a mini library of books, coloring books, and other things for your child for $25 plus your $35 and free shipping on all! People, that's not bad!

Now, I'll admit that I tend to spend too much on there, but I'm not blowing money on things we will never use. I got Kade's Thomas Roller Coaster there for only $80 and he loves it so much!

He was so excited he couldn't be still. These things run anywhere from $150-$200 in stores so $80 was a great deal!

No, I'm not here to promote Amazon at all. I'm simply telling you all of this because I know that we all have a hard time spending money wisely, or at least I do (obviously), but my point was that there are ways to get what you need and want for less and Amazon is one of those ways. Now, not everything is cheaper on Amazon of course, but given some time to dig around you can find great ways to help teach your child, stimulate their imagination, and give them something fun to do. And also it's fun for me too. I'm not saying that you have to buy things to make your child happy, but it's nice sometimes. The real reason for this post was for the educational coloring books, and there's so much more to be found there. There are countless penny items on Amazon which are technically $4.00 because of shipping, but that's still decent compared to buying those same items off other web sites.

I'm always looking for material to add to my son's curriculum, and these two coloring books are perfect for giving a "break" during learning to color pictures. They just happen to be pictures he can still learn from.

Hope you enjoyed my rant.
Have a great Day!

Please Excuse My Test Post

I am linking to twitter and facebook so please excuse this test post to make sure that my feeds are working correctly. Thank you so much.

https://twitter.com/PaganMomJOPM
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Journey-of-a-Pagan-Mom/1666052533638631

Introduction

Hi there. My name is Kelly. I am a single mom with a 3 year old boy who's about to turn 4 in January. We've gone through some hardships, and left his father about a year ago (August 19th 2014). But we've come a long way in the past year. For instance, I am now Assistant Manager at my job (yay me!) and my son can count to 100, knows all of his colors, shapes, body parts, and animals, and just started Head Start 4 days ago. Obviously he knew that stuff before he got there. After his first day I spoke with his teacher. He said, "Well, he's super smart! How does he know all of this already?" My response of course is that "I am homeschooling him so he doesn't really need the education that you are providing. What he needs is social interaction, and a chance to learn better ways of behaving through observation as children do for the most part."

See, he is rarely ever around other kids and there is only so much my mom and I can do as we try to teach him the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviors in different social settings. He's had a lot of freedom in his 3 and a half years. I didn't feel the need to have a set schedule for him as far as bath time, bed time, nap time, learning time, or even meal time. I hear many times that he needs to have a schedule because it helps later on to understand that there is a time and place for everything, but the rebel in me said "Let him be who he wants to be! If he's not hungry I'm not going to make him eat. If he's not sleepy I'm not going to make him sleep."

At this point, I regret my decision. I'm glad that he has had so much freedom in many ways, because he may have not had enough concentration to learn the things that he did so quickly. He was free to explore and free to do things on HIS schedule and not mine. He started walking early, and barely crawled before that. He did a lot of things early, regardless of what contributed to that fact. But right at this moment in his life, I have found that it is important that he learn things that others thought he should have learned sooner. He is socially awkward. Mostly because we didn't have any family where he was born, and was never around anyone other than a first time mom who had no idea what she was doing (me) and a father who didn't care. I mean I did, and am doing my best but I can only do so much without prior experience on how to raise a child. I did a lot of reading and researching, tried many things, some successfully and some failed. But the most important thing to me is my son's development and ability to function in this world as an intelligent person.

Goodness I rant! My point is that he really needs to be around other kids and see how they are interacting with each other and the world around him. He is in his own little world because I had allowed him to be so most of the time, but now I'm having trouble getting him out of it so he can learn how to be productive in this world. I may sound like a complete loon, but I'm learning on this journey as I go. Sometimes I will make mistakes just like everyone else, and sometimes I can correct them or learn a better way. In any event, he is attending Head Start 2 days of the week. I'm hoping that it helps his social skills.

So, A little about me? I am an Ordained Pagan Minister, have been studying paganism for about  20 years, and have been practicing Witchcraft in various forms for nearly 19 years (as of September 2015). I love to sing, paint, write, and read. I am also interested in Photography and have my own amateur photography that I'm quite proud of. I enjoy researching interesting subject, reading spiritual texts from various sources, and creating digitally enhanced images like the Header Image at the top of this blog. I love cats. Mine is a black cat named Fairuza (with permission from F.B.). And I tend to ramble if you haven't noticed.

A bit about my son? His Name is Kadanz Lisife which was chosen before his conceptions. It means "Song of the Lightbringer". We call him Kade for short. He was conceived durring a Beltane rite in 2011 and came to us later in January of 2012. I say (with affection) that we conjured him straight from the pits of the underworld because he can be a little beast when he wants to. We held his Paganing on the following Beltane 2012 and presented him to our Gods and friends at that time. He's a funny little guy. He's obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and he's spoiled with way too many trains including a Thomas roller coaster in our living room. It's pretty awesome. His favorite song right now is called "Primo Victoria" which is a cover by Van Canto (original by Sabaton). It's about Normandy June 6th, 1944. He knows every word, and I think it's great because he learns a lot through music. Now he's learning history. lol

So that's me and my boy. I hope that I'll be able to share some useful information for you in upcoming posts about pagan parenting and pagan homeshcooling. I am learning as I go, so why can't you?

Have a wonderful week!